[Ren´Py] Emma - Demo (Completed)

"Non-linear story" is stretching that phrase a lot. There's not really multiple paths, only distractions and then quick realignment with the actual story.

Deeper character developement is better I think.

Choices are good, but if you don’t grip the leash, you won’t have time for the completely different story lines. Best experiences come when you did a choice, and you believe that choice has its result. For example the protagonist’s friend is going to fall down in the river. You can choose if you try to find a solution or just run to them. If you choose thinking, they lose their grip and fall down. If you run to help, the protagonist’s boots kick dirt to the friend’s face they lose their grip and fall down. This seems to be the same ending however… they will survive it and they will have different seeing about the case. If the protagonist stopped to think they will blame them for not helping. If the protagonist ran to them, they will blame them for the clumsiness. However if they are real close together, they will forgive quickly. These tricks can color your story without making completely new lines. Got it? :D You can use choices what seems to have no reason. For example you hide a gun in your desk. After a long time Emma is in danger in her room and she tries to flee, but you open her desk and there is the gun.

Animations are cute. I like them.

Interaction make the story more personal.

This is Emma’s story not mine. :)

The whole story is so surreal. :D I thought I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, but you have such a good pace, I don’t want to fuck it up with something what really doesn’t matter in this case. You’ll find out. If not, we’ll talk about it at the end. Until then I’m wondering where this story will go. :) Go on!

Everyone should have their own colored speech bubbles. On the pics at the right Emma has green and pink ones too.

And make clothes less skin-tight. ;)

the was so laggy it hide my mouse and refuse to close and then after 30 sec it crash
edit:the game slown down my tab and the video im watching making both chrome and the game not responding

So, I absolutely adore the art style. The women in this look really, really good. But, in my opinion, the men don't look as good. I was a bit taken aback by Robert's...proportions. Specifically during the beach scene. I mean, if you go back and look at it, it's almost half as tall as the women themselves. He would literally kill a woman during sex. Even if you're going for a cartoony exaggeration. That's literally my only critique though, because the rest of the art style looks great. Emma and Olivia just look so good, really great job with them.

I personally don't mind that there aren't any animations, this felt almost like a comic book and I like that!

Art style is great, I love it! However I don’t understand those see-through clothes coming out of nowhere. I don’t understand either why are so much of the pics while doesn’t really happen anything. An animation would be nice instead or just a simple blackout. Is it really important to see those pics? Less nudity is more sometimes.

Art style is 11/10